I am something of a Londonphile and usually venerate all of the things the big city has to offer. But living in the capital doesn’t come without drawbacks and even I can recognise that. One Trip Advisor complainant summed it up well in their review of the London Eye when they concluded, ‘nice views, too many people’. I’m often torn between loving the amazing variety of pursuits available to me because of the breadth of people here and hating that each one of them is sold out before you can finish your cup of tea. And then when you do get the golden ticket you usually have to crane your neck to actually see anything at all.

Despite this, I am well-equipped to cope with the crowds and the city’s fast pace. You see, I’ve always had a knack for speed walking but when I moved to London my quick step became almost ridiculous. I often proudly state how I have ‘never been overtaken’ on London’s streets and how, when this did once happen to me, I upped my pace and reclaimed my self-awarded title of London’s fastest walker  (in a scene reminiscent of this brilliant 1978 comedy sketch about commuters on Waterloo Bridge).

London has notoriously packed pavements and it is often a struggle to remain patient and courteous – regularly choosing to risk death by road traffic accident rather than lose a second of precious time being stuck behind a dawdling tourist, or worse –  a couple of dawdling tourists. So I was delighted when I discovered that this frustration was one felt by our historical neighbours, one of whom provided this ‘advice for walking on the streets of London’, in a 1780 pamphlet:

“Not to walk arm in arm, as if the street was made for us only.
Not to use the sauntering gait of a lazy Spaniard in this busy town of trade and hurry.
To be cautious of staring in the faces of those that pass by us, like an inquisitor general; for an overbearing look has the air of a bully, and a prying one that of a bailiff.”

Of course, London at this time would have felt like a foreign country in many ways compared to today, the population has more than octupled and, thankfully, we now have a sewage system and waste disposal. But none-the-less, I think this advice* has stood the test of time. Essentially: don’t walk slowly, don’t touch anyone, don’t look at anyone, don’t stop to enjoy anything… seems reasonable enough doesn’t it?

*for the most part, I’m not advocating calling Spanish people lazy!